On Monday Evan is scheduled for his second NICU follow up. You may remember his last one in September, when we took him down to Hamot for a little evaluation. They do these with all the NICU grads for the first few years to make sure the kids are developing as they should, and I also think it helps them keep a good record of their "success stories". I'm glad they're following him, but I have to say these appointments make me a little bit nervous.
About two weeks before the visit, you get a packet in the mail. In the packet are a sheet that tells you the date, time and location of your appointment, a general information/demographic form to fill out, and a series of questions about what your child is or is not doing at this age. Now for the 14 month follow up, the questions are like this:
"Does your child climb onto furniture?" (Well, his legs are rather short)
"Does your child stack three small blocks on top of each other by himself?" (He'd rather knock them down)
"Can your child drop a crumb into a small, clear bottle?" (Gee, this isn't one of our regular activities)
"Does your child play with a doll by hugging it?" (Yeah, right)
"Does your child try to get a small toy that is slightly out of reach by using a spoon, stick or similar tool?" (I try not to give him sticks or other tools, but no)
"Does your child say four or more words in addition to Mama or Dada?" (Not even close)
Evan is doing some of the things they ask about, but a majority of the things we have tried he is unable or unwilling to do. By far he seems to be most lacking in communication and problem solving skills. I don't know what to think about that.
I know I shouldn't be worried, that all kids, especially preemies, develop in their own time but I can't help being nervous about the whole thing. I feel like they're not only evaluating Evan's progress, but they are grading me as a mom. And if I don't get a good grade, I don't know what I'm going to do. Moms of full term babies don't get evaluated periodically or graded on their kid's progress. But I feel like I'm being scrutinized, and if Evan isn't up to par then it's my fault.
I just want him to be okay, to be a "normal kid", to not have to worry about this preemie stuff for the rest of my life. But that's wishing for something that can't be. I just have to hope that things are fine, that his delays are minor, that I can teach him to throw a ball overhand in the next three days.
Posted by jenny at May 15, 2003 04:04 PM
